makemehealthyandsassy

The first time a man slapped me on the ass, I was fourteen years old, bussing tables at a family restaurant.

Catcalls make me jump out of my skin. I have never figured out how to take them as a compliment.

When I learned that “no” did not always stop slipping lips and wandering hands, I was sixteen. I was told that it was my fault for being tempting. I haven’t left the house with shorts on for years. It makes me nervous to be alone somewhere with another person when I have a dress on.

I always get uncomfortable when men make jokes about why women go to the bathroom in groups. Nobody likes to hear that we are taught from the youngest age that we should never go anywhere alone.

The second time that “no” did not stop someone, my date pulled up in front of my house and hit the door lock, wrapped his hand around my throat because I told him I just thought we should be friends.

The third time, I was sprawled out on a hammock in the front lawn with a man I’d been out with a handful of times. When I first said “no”, I thought maybe he didn’t hear me. “Please no, please don’t”. “Please no, please don’t.” “Please no, please don’t.”

Once I was told by a man that it was my fault if he ever went too far because his brain was wired like an animal. I didn’t argue. Can you believe that I didn’t argue? I wanted to say that even my dogs recognize the word “no”, but I was afraid of how he would react. I had to sit through the rest of the date with a smile on my face.

I carry my keys just to walk to the mailbox at night. I’m too paranoid to jog down my street alone.

I have been groped on the sidewalk. I have been groped at the bar. I have been groped on the bus.

The time I was followed all the way to my friend’s car by a group of men who stood around laughing and jeering and banging on the windows, not letting us pull out of the parking garage, was the last time I ever let a man buy me a drink at a bar.

I have men in my life who would call themselves my friends who have put their hands on my hips and my thighs without my permission. There is no question. They do not think they have to ask. They laugh when I bristle.

It took twenty-two years to realize only I had a right to my body.

I used to bite my tongue, but I do not say “no” quietly anymore. I bark my discomfort like an old dog, weary and uncomfortable even in its sleep.

"this is not a fucking poem; it is an outrage (I Spent Twenty-Two Years Trying To Be Nice About It)" Trista Mateer  (via arpeggiated)
peruvian--goddess
blondebarbells:

yasha9:

plantbaby420:

*mic drop*

Or you could, like, you know, just be happy that someone’s making an effort towards rape prevention. But yeah, let’s complain that it’s not perfect, that’s good.

This isn’t a complaint at all- it’s simply saying that instead of coming up with every “inventive anti rape” device under the sun, people need to start paying attention to the real problem- stopping rapists from raping.
I think it’s great that four college men came up work this product-it’s a great deal of chemistry and hard work that went into this project. I commend them. I really do think that it’s a step in the right direction.
But there are a few dangerous misconceptions that women face, when it comes to rape, that anti-rape products like these don’t help.
1. That women are most often raped by strangers.
This is simply not correct. It does happen, but not in the frequency that some people seem to think- a staggering. 66% of rapes and 75% of sexual assaults are committed by someone who the victim knows. 
No amount of color-changing nail polish, pepper spray, cat eyes key chains, rape whistles, etc will be effective if you’re not on the defensive. If you’re just hanging at a friends house. If you’re at work. If you’re with your partner. These products are all great, but only if you’re expecting to use them. If you’re at ease with people that you know around you, then what? 
2. That if a woman is raped, it’s her fault.
Was she dressed modestly? Had she had sex before? Was she drunk? Was she out at night? Was she carrying a rape whistle? Pepper spray? Anti rape nail polish?
After a woman is raped there are many questions, but the blame is often times put on the woman for not avoiding the rape. Nothing justifies raping another person. If a drunk woman walking naked alone at night in the street gets raped, it should be taken just as seriously as a woman “doing everything right” with her pepper spray in hand and keys between her fingers like little knives. Both were violated and both deserve to be treated with respect. But how would the media report these? Very, very differently. Because the responsibility of the rape is rarely put on the rapist- but rather what the woman was doing, or should have been doing, to protect herself.
Here’s the bottom line- these products are great for personal safety, for personal awareness. I carry every protection product you can think of. There are a lot of great products out there, and if it makes you feel more protected, and if it makes you feel like you could escape an attack- by all means, USE these products!
But this does not solve the problem. The problem is that so long as people are not taught what consent really means, and are taught NOT TO RAPE- all the anti-rape products in the world won’t stop rapists.
I’d encourage everyone to read this awesome article, which makes many points on why this is great, but there is so much more to be done. Also linked to some stats on rapists.
http://mic.com/articles/97362/11-ways-to-solve-rape-better-than-nail-polish
https://rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-offenders
From the article:
“Encouraging women to buy products to make themselves safer is sort of like cutting off the weed at its stem, instead of at its root: It might give you something to do, but you aren’t going to actually eradicate weeds from your garden. To stop rape, we need to teach men not to rape, not teach women that it’s their responsibility to prevent it.” (Elizabeth Plank)

blondebarbells:

yasha9:

plantbaby420:

*mic drop*

Or you could, like, you know, just be happy that someone’s making an effort towards rape prevention. But yeah, let’s complain that it’s not perfect, that’s good.

This isn’t a complaint at all- it’s simply saying that instead of coming up with every “inventive anti rape” device under the sun, people need to start paying attention to the real problem- stopping rapists from raping.

I think it’s great that four college men came up work this product-it’s a great deal of chemistry and hard work that went into this project. I commend them. I really do think that it’s a step in the right direction.

But there are a few dangerous misconceptions that women face, when it comes to rape, that anti-rape products like these don’t help.

1. That women are most often raped by strangers.

This is simply not correct. It does happen, but not in the frequency that some people seem to think- a staggering. 66% of rapes and 75% of sexual assaults are committed by someone who the victim knows. 

No amount of color-changing nail polish, pepper spray, cat eyes key chains, rape whistles, etc will be effective if you’re not on the defensive. If you’re just hanging at a friends house. If you’re at work. If you’re with your partner. These products are all great, but only if you’re expecting to use them. If you’re at ease with people that you know around you, then what? 

2. That if a woman is raped, it’s her fault.

Was she dressed modestly? Had she had sex before? Was she drunk? Was she out at night? Was she carrying a rape whistle? Pepper spray? Anti rape nail polish?

After a woman is raped there are many questions, but the blame is often times put on the woman for not avoiding the rape. Nothing justifies raping another person. If a drunk woman walking naked alone at night in the street gets raped, it should be taken just as seriously as a woman “doing everything right” with her pepper spray in hand and keys between her fingers like little knives. Both were violated and both deserve to be treated with respect. But how would the media report these? Very, very differently. Because the responsibility of the rape is rarely put on the rapist- but rather what the woman was doing, or should have been doing, to protect herself.

Here’s the bottom line- these products are great for personal safety, for personal awareness. I carry every protection product you can think of. There are a lot of great products out there, and if it makes you feel more protected, and if it makes you feel like you could escape an attack- by all means, USE these products!

But this does not solve the problem. The problem is that so long as people are not taught what consent really means, and are taught NOT TO RAPE- all the anti-rape products in the world won’t stop rapists.

I’d encourage everyone to read this awesome article, which makes many points on why this is great, but there is so much more to be done. Also linked to some stats on rapists.

http://mic.com/articles/97362/11-ways-to-solve-rape-better-than-nail-polish

https://rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-offenders

From the article:

Encouraging women to buy products to make themselves safer is sort of like cutting off the weed at its stem, instead of at its root: It might give you something to do, but you aren’t going to actually eradicate weeds from your garden. To stop rape, we need to teach men not to rape, not teach women that it’s their responsibility to prevent it.” (Elizabeth Plank)

butteryourshit

jordan-haruka:

merryblangstmas:

Some Nights Tumblr Version.

Based off this post.

Lyrics:

Some nights, I stay up staring at my laptop

Some nights, I don’t sleep at all

Some nights, I ‘m glad that my dash is never ending

Some nights, I wish I could log off

But I still stay up, I still read your posts

Oh Lord, I’m still not sure why I’m awake at four

What do I scroll for? What do I scroll for?

Most nights, I don’t know anymore…

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa oh oh

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa oh oh

This is it, these are ship wars

What are we fighting for?

Why don’t we read fanfic already?

I was never one to sleep at night - save that for those who have a life

Post twice as much and get half as many likes, but here feels come again

To stay for a while

But that’s alright; I blog from in my bed tonight

I blog because I’m wonderin’ just who I, who I, who I am

Oh, who am I? mmm… I have no life

Well, some nights, I wish that my dash would end

‘Cause I could use some friends for a change

And some nights, I’m scared I’ll hit post limit again

Some nights, I always hit, I always hit…

But I still stay up, I still read your posts

Oh Lord, I’m still not sure why I’m awake at four

What do I scroll for? What do I scroll for?

Most nights, I don’t know… 

So this is it? I sold my soul for this?

Left my social life for this? Or do I have no friends because of this?

(/awkward pause where I didn’t know what to write/)

So log on.

Log on.

Log on,

OH LOG ON!

Well, that is it guys, that is all, scroll twelve pages down and I’m bored again
Ten years of this, and only bloggers understand 
I’m not sticking ‘round with my folks downstairs; Sorry to leave, mom, I had ship pairs
I’m going to be forever alone, all dried up from my laptop brightness

My heart is breaking for my OTP and the con that they call “love”
‘Cuz when they look into each other’s eyes…
Man, you wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that can come from…
Some terrible writers…ahhh…

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh

The other night, you wouldn’t believe the fic I just read about my OTP

I wish it would update already

I wish you’d tag all of your stuff, man.

Why won’t you tag all of your stuff, man? oh…

I’m never logging off

Why would I ever log off Tumblr… oh …

Oh, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh.

image

THIS IS THE TUMBLR ANTHEM

IF YOU DO NOT REBLOG THIS YOU MIGHT AS WELL LOG OFF AND OR SHUT DOWN YOUR BLOG BECAUSE ALL OF TUMBLR HAS REJECTED YOU.